LIBERTY

LIBERTY is my new companion book to HEXENHAUS and it will be in bookstores from October 29, 2018.

I wrote this book because of a pink razor. Yeah, you know the ones you shave your legs and pits with if you are a scaredy-woos and can’t handle lasers and wax. One day I was left with a handful of used pink plastic ones, all blunt, all a bit…well…manky…you know with pubes and rust and shit on them. So I threw them in the bin and used one of my man’s razors and OH MY GOD…men’s razors are so superior we are talking the difference between a butter knife and Excalibur!!! His wasn’t fancy or expensive…it was pretty No Frills really but it wasn’t pink. My razors cost more. Was it the pinkness I wondered because it sure had nothing to do with quality or efficiency. My legs were so smooth after a going over with a macho black razor that fleas could ski down them. Men’s razors are superior.

And we’re the ones who get shamed about all our body hair. We are expected to have our eyebrows on fleek (okay I know that term is so yesterday but I am a Yesterday Girl). If we have tufts outside of our swimmers we are gross. If our legs look like our primate grandmothers we are ‘dirty hippies’ and only Madonna in 1989 was allowed to flash underarm wombats. Gals are supposed to be smooth. But even our hairdressing costs are way more. Whether we are after the beehive, the Rachel or the over-straightened ombre Kardashian look, it costs so much more than blokes who have short hair or hair that needs a cut, or if you’re really game, the hipster bun. That be like twenty bucks as opposed to the down-payment on a small apartment that a girl pays to get her roots done and few foils.

I get angry when I see inequality and injustice and racism and bigotry in this world and instead of these things becoming irrelevant and extinct like other useless things like a dodo bird or those plastic wine cask holders, it’s getting worse. We are living in scary, hateful times and that’s largely because we have prize arseholes sitting on the leader’s thrones (except for New Zealand). With a man accused of sexual assault (and that’s just prising open the creepy-arsed Pandora’s Trump Box a tiny little bit) running the most powerful (but kinda least great) nation in the world while actively being a supreme white monster and endorsing things like…um Nazis and whatnot…we are in trouble. Race hate, fear of other and rampant misogyny are having a second wind and it’s blowing a gale. Women fought so bloody hard to get just a smidgen of respect and a nod toward equality (but we’ve still got a long way to go) and I was proud to be a part of the sisterhood of strong, capable women but we are back in the fight of our lives again! We need to have warrior women as role models, not naked teens on wrecking balls. The wrecking ball bit is actually somewhat cool because this joint (society) needs a good smack in the head.

That’s where LIBERTY comes in. I dug up some amazing young women from history that most people have never heard of unless they lived in a five mile radius of these said women in their lifetimes. Betsy Gray, Irish lass, jumped on a horse, grabbed a musket and kicked some English butt screaming ‘Get out of my country you miserable, bullying shites!’. Jeanne Laisne waved a couple of axes about and rallied an army of women to ward off a bunch of apish rapers and pillagers who were sacking towns all over France. Fiona McKechnie marched against conscription during the Vietnam war and grew her armpit hair like a boss. These women are our ancestors. They are my ancestors. Like…literally. I am the daughter of the women that raised themselves up on the courage of their own sisters and mothers. I am passionate about the sisterhood and watch and applaud movements like #metoo and am humbled by young women who stand up and say ENOUGH like those in the US who rally for gun reform and stick it to the old, white, rich patriarchy.

I am woman hear me roar. Or alternatively…go and buy LIBERTY because it’s an inspiring read that will hopefully embolden young women and old women and middle-aged women to raise a flag for LIBERTY, EQUALITY and the SISTERHOOD.

Don’t ever accept second best. Don’t ever think you aren’t ‘enough’. You are a warrior. It’s in your blood!

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